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| ok, I know you *can* but Nooooooo |
On Using an Electric Razor
my helper, holding the electric razor in hand looks at me pauses and then asks "where do you keep the shaving foam?"Somebody Tripped Me
back in August, when I fell and broke my right arm. One of my regular helpers arrives for the scheduled appointment. This is her first time seeing me since, of course she is surprised to see me in a cast and immediately asks "what happened!?"I tell her the story about how my right leg let go for no apparent reason and I fell on my wrist. Breaking my arm.
She replies, "well, you sure were lucky that Jesus was there!"
With a confused look on her face, pauses, then asks, "what do you mean?"
"Well, I sure didn't fall by myself. Somebody had to trip me."
"… I don't understand."
Me: "… Jesus tripped me…"
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for allowing people their individual beliefs. Just don't use it as a way to tell me how "lucky I am".
Proof of Life
my insurance company actually required me to get my Dr. To fill out a form, which is essentially confirmed that I was still alive and could continue coverage. Essentially, I had to provide proof of life for myself.The Spacebar Lady
I could not go without me telling this one. Back in May, befor I e we moved in and broke my arm. I had modified my desktop computer so I could boot it by pressing the space bar. However, if I'm already sitting in my computer chair I cannot reach it on account of disability. On this day I asked for help…Me: would you please press the space bar on keyboard?
Helper: what is the space bar?
Me: the large rectangular key on the bottom of the keyboard, press it
helper: I'm sorry, I don't know what that is
me: the button you press the put a space between words!
Helper: I don't understand.
Speaking in French this time, we pretty much repeat the above conversation. Finally, I get it frustrated and ask: Didn't you tell me you recently finished a computer course recently for something like Microsoft office?
Helper says proudly: yes I did, I got 94%
Me: then how on earth do you not know what a space bar is?
I think to myself, 94% for what. Attendance?
Wheelchair Versus the Stairs
the wife and I had to attend a meeting to sign some legal papers. The location was changed to accommodate my wheelchair needs. When we arrived in the front lobby, me and wheels 2.0. We are greeted at the front door by one of the assistants saying something like "so glad you can make it! We are happy. You could make it. Everyone is waiting for you upstairs."Me: "great, where is the elevator?"
Gesturing to the stairs, the assistant says, "we don't have one, everyone is waiting for you upstairs."
Looking down at wheels 2.0 I replied "I'm going to give you a minute to realize the likely what the problem is…"
"…"
It's funny how some people don't immediately grab the obvious.
The Coffee Incident.
I have Nespresso coffee machine. It is unbelievably easy to use. Granted, the power button can be considered to be a bit "camouflaged". but other then that, extreemly logical and easy to us. so one day after almost 15 min. of trying to explain to my helper how to make a cup of coffee… This happened
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